Over the past year or so, it’s become apparent to me that I hold some fairly specific beliefs about what healing is (and about what it isn’t). Today, I’m going to share what I’ve come to believe over the past two and a half decades of being on a healing journey myself and of facilitating healing for others.
I share these beliefs knowing that, as I continue on my healing path, they are likely to evolve and perhaps even to change considerably. So, the following is a snapshot of both where I am currently and what I believe in this moment.
If you have any to add from your own journey, I’d love to hear them!
Eight Beliefs I (currently) Hold About Healing:
Note: the first three beliefs are variations or further elucidations of Belief #1.
BELIEF #1: Becoming ‘healed’ is a myth. Hear me out. 🙂 It seems everyone is seeking healing from this or that and… As a witchy-healer-person, I tell my clients that their ancestors can be healed and that will lead to their healing as well… However, in actuality, I’m not sure that healing is ever something that is fully arrived at.
If healing (as I experience it) is a return to wholeness and wholeness is the integration of the binary (the light/shadow; right/wrong; good/bad parts of us) then, as we heal, instead of becoming ‘healed’, our capacity to hold ever expanding levels of complexity and pain+beauty within us simply increases.
BELIEF #2: As issues heal/resolve, we open ourselves to even deeper experiences of pain+beauty. In my experience, yes, specific issues (back pain, anxiety, other painful symptoms and patterns) do resolve or ‘heal’ but then the next layer opens and we are, again, back on our healing path.
Instead of the issue in need of healing resolving and then life being great/perfect/according to our dreams, as that issue resolves we open ourselves to an even deeper level/layer of pain.
Thankfully, due to the steps previously taken along our healing path, we now have increased support, resourcing and greater embodiment. Thus, we are able to process/transmute/metabolize these deeper levels of pain, grief, etc.
As I experience it, I tend to exist at the very edge of what is possible for me (with help) to feel, heal, and transform.
Therefore, the next layer or level of healing that is accessible to me often feels just like the last one when, in fact, it is often a layer or level that I was entirely incapable of processing (feeling/digesting/being with) just a short while ago.
Thankfully (X2), as we go through this process (that perhaps feels excruciatingly endless and varied on one level and and numbingly the same on another) life simultaneously holds increasing nuance, complexity, beauty, wonder, magic, meaning, and depth of connection and relating with others.
BELIEF #3: the true path of a healer is to hold ever increasing complexity, nuance, beauty+pain. I wonder if this isn’t the true path of the healer, of healing… not to arrive anywhere but to continue surrendering to/opening to/allowing greater and greater amounts of beauty+pain to be held, integrated, and returned to wholeness through us.
And, it does get easier (even if it often doesn’t feel that way) in that the support of our ancestors and the other-than-human world (and other living humans who get it) increases proportionately as well. But, we might not ever arrive at some state of being ‘healed’ … unless or until all (humans + other-than-humans) are also healed/whole.
BELIEF #4: healing is space (I could also call it love); sickness/disease is contraction. Increase space within a system (body, mind, beliefs, patterns, institutions…) and healing/wholeness also increases.
This belief is in part why approaches that emphasize being in relaxed states are so beneficial… relaxation automatically increases space in the body/mind.
BELIEF #5: The world is not composed of only love/light. Beaming love/light is not always the answer nor an effective way to deal with unpleasant stuff. Things exist in the universe that will eat you if given the chance. Not all is light/love nor can everything be well met or healed with just light/love.
Boundaries, discernment, and trusted guides (including well ancestors) are crucial when navigating a world that isn’t just light and love.
BELIEF #6: There is also love and darkness (and love *in* darkness). The over-association of ‘light’ with ‘love’ and ‘dark’ with ‘evil or sin’ is problematic and harmful. Personally, I’ve experienced incredible depths of healing through surrendering to and being held by ‘darkness’.
Healing is possible via light and darkness. As I see it, both light and darkness are held in love; love works through both.
BELIEF #7: ‘Feeling your feelings’ does not always lead to healing and is not always the answer. There are exceptions to ‘feeling is healing’. The first is …for feeling to lead to healing we must be well enough resourced (supported by wellness, love, etc) to not just be overwhelmed and therefore re-traumatized by all we are attempting to feel… which leads to a second exemption (see Belief #8).
BELIEF #8: In order for ‘feeling your feeling’ to lead to healing, we must be feeling what is actually OURS. Attempting to feel/heal the feelings/emotions/sensations of others (unprocessed collective energies, the pain and unresolved trauma of our ancestors) is actually a form of boundary collapse and quickly leads to a situation of ‘too much, too soon, too fast’ for our nervous systems to process.
In other words, the very act of feeling our feelings in order to heal can lead to additional levels of trauma in our nervous systems if we 1) aren’t properly resourced and 2) are attempting to feel what isn’t ours to feel/heal.
There’s nuance here and the need for discernment. Fortunately, this is a topic we explore in depth in Embodiment, Boundaries, and The Ancestors.
As I mentioned in the beginning, the above beliefs are a snapshot of my current understanding of healing based on my experiences on my own healing path and facilitating healing for others. It is likely they will continue to evolve and be refined with time and more experience.
How do these beliefs land for you? Is there anything you would change based on your own lived experiences? Or add? I’d love to hear!
ps. I’ve opened up my July calendar for Ambling Sessions. Want to amble with me? Schedule here. 🙂
pps. I’m blown away by the depth and authenticity of the wondrous ones in the Witchy Healer Wisdom School. To learn more, read this page and then reach out to schedule a time for an absolutely no pressure ‘Is This Right For Me?’ consultation (no charge).
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