Aligning with Purpose in 2014

Hear ye! Hear ye!  Malidoma Somé, African elder, teacher, and mentor, is returning to Portland! He will be offering personal divinations and a one-day ritual focused on the mineral element and knowing/living your purpose.

To hear a story about how receiving a divination from him resolved one of the burning questions of my life, continue reading…

In the cosmology of the Dagara people of West Africa, 2014 is a mineral year – a year where purpose, the remembering of who we are and why we are here, is accentuated.

And, a year where the creative expression of our purpose is particularly supported.

For much of my life, I’ve felt as if I’ve been walking parallel to my purpose.

Close enough to it that I would catch glimpses of it every now and then, and yet in some fundamental way, not truly on my path.

This led to much anxiety, confusion, self-doubt and this gnawing feeling that nothing that I did was really quite ‘right.’ There was always this sense of something being a little off or misaligned.

Much of what I did and how I presented myself to the world was authentic and aligned… at least to the greatest extent possible at the time.

But still, it seemed that most of the time, I was simply kind of flailing in the dark, only taking the next step as it was revealed to me, without any real understanding or overarching vision to guide me.

Steps along the way.

For instance, I found Ortho-Bionomy and felt this deep alignment with the principles and techniques of this healing modality. I dove whole-heartedly into it and discovered layers and layers of healing both for myself and my clients.

Still, there was something missing.

I started down the path to become a naturalist and began weaving the principles of nature connection and deep listening into my work with students and clients. More layers and avenues of healing began to open.

Getting closer.

I had this sense that I was slowly moving closer and closer to knowing and claiming my unique gifts and how I could best serve through them. And yet, it was clear to me that I was still missing some crucial element.

Then, 3-4 years ago, I began the process of learning how to relate with my ancestors and the elements of fire, earth, water, mineral and nature.

Something clicked into place and everything changed.

The bigger pieces of who I am and why I’m here started to come together. I began to understand how my various skills and the obsessions interests of my life weave together to create meaning.

I was no longer flailing in the dark. Celebrations!

I credit this coming out of the darkness in large part to the love and guidance of my ancestors.

As I have deepened into relationship with my ancestors, continuing on this path of healing and reconnection – to the earth, the plants, the animals, and to my lineage – more and more of the pieces of this puzzle (of why I am here and how I am to serve) have been revealed to me.

These revelations have taken many forms including insights in meditation or while in nature or ritual, having unexpected opportunities arise or paths open, and, especially, through receiving divinations where I’ve asked for specific information to be revealed.

In which I receive a life-changing divination.

Last April, during a divination with Malidoma Somé, my most burning, unanswered question around purpose was resolved.

[Interlude]

For YEARS now, I’ve been on the fence about having children. I just couldn’t decide whether it was right for me; if being a mother was part of my path.

So many doubts and so much terror surfaced anytime the subject was mentioned that I simply couldn’t feel what was right for me.

Everything would become very mental and very un-embodied and my floating head would say ‘this is not a logical thing to do considering your current circumstances’ every time.

But, I couldn’t even feel whether or not that was true in my body.

For me, it is crucial to have that sense of deep inner knowing that comes from my heart, my bones, my body especially when making such a potentially life-changing decision.

In short, I was very aware that this was not a decision I could make from my head. And yet, I couldn’t even come close to getting through all the terror and doubt in order to feel what was right for me on my own.

As years passed, I started feeling more and more pressure to hurry up and make a decision – before the decision was made for me through me simply being too old to have children.

[Which leads us back to the divination…]

In the divination, it was revealed in no uncertain terms that children are a part of my purpose.

Miraculously, I could feel the truth of it deep within my body and heart.

For the first time, I was able to sense beneath all of the terror the the idea of being a parent invoked in me and feel what was real for me.

“I do want to have children, I do want to be a mother!”

It was nothing short of a miracle.

From there, an entire different adventure began… which I will share some other time.

For now, let’s return to an aspect of my purpose that might be more relevant to you. 🙂

It is with deep gratitude for all that has transpired over the past years that I invite you to join me in ritual.

Over this next year, we will be celebrating the solstices and equinoxes, learning more about the practice of deep listening, and allowing the waters to cleanse us in the 4th Annual Ritual of Letting Go.

Perhaps most importantly, we will be diving into the various branches of our ancestry, discovering the gifts of our lineages, and learning how to heal the stuck generational patterns that keep us from living our lives to the fullest.

Comment Magic:

Being in relationship with my ancestors has brought more love, support, and guidance into my life than I ever would have thought possible.

As I continue to grow and deepen in relationship with my ancestors and with the earth, more and more of the pieces of my purpose continue to be revealed to me.

And, all that is not aligned with this purpose continues to come up for healing and to be released. It is often a messy, painful process and yet I know that throughout it all, I am held.

Where do you turn when you are faced with a question or decision you aren’t able to resolve on your own?

What fills you with a sense of purpose and gives your life meaning?

Wishing you a 2014 filled with deep inner knowing, love, and purpose.