Larisa Noonan

Ancestral healing, shadow work, and ritual for Witchy Healers seeking right-fit clients.

One Year

· Filed Under: Personal Stuff

Today marks one year.

One year since my website went live. One year since I committed to writing a newsletter and posting it here twice a month.

One year since I began to shed my invisibility cloak and to let people know that I exist. That I have a business, and mad skills, and a mission to help people connect deeply with themselves for the betterment of all mankind.

Or, preferably, some waaay less cheesy version of that. 🙂

Today, I want to somehow mark this occasion. It *is* an occasion of note.

One year.

The problem is, I don’t know how.

I’m really good at noticing all that still needs to be done, all the things I still want to do, to write about, to share, to teach and all the things I didn’t finish over this past year. These things I’m very good at.

I’m not so good at celebrating what actually *has* been accomplished.

In truth, just the word ‘celebrate’ freaks me out.

In truth, I really don’t want to write about this. I don’t want to mark this passage of time. I don’t want to celebrate. I don’t want to ask you to celebrate with me.

And yet, there is something here. Something that is asking to be acknowledged.

I know this because every time I sit down to write, this is all there is.

All the ideas, thoughts, and stories I want to share with you are gone. This is all that remains.

If I can’t celebrate, perhaps I can acknowledge:

  • I acknowledge that it has been one year since my website went live.
  • One year since I committed to posting and sending out a newsletter twice a month.
  • One year since I announced my (mostly lurking) presence on twitter.
  • One year since I began making connections with people around the world and reaching out beyond the comfortable circle of my friends here in Portland.

I acknowledge it has been two years…

  • Two years since leaving the wellness center where I’d been letting them talk about me and my business for me.
  • Two years since deciding I wanted to build my business my way, without the backing of a center.
  • Two years since having a total breakdown and quitting my work for a year. Because the very thought of having to talk about what I did made me want to throw up. Oh, I still loved what I did. But, the telling people about it – impossible.
  • Two years since taking that one year off to begin to untangle my relationship with the business side of my work.

And…

  • 1 year since re-launching my business and occasionally even feeling excited talking about it.
  • 7 months since launching Owl Eyes – my beloved e-course.
  • 4.5 months since joining the most awesome Mastermind Group in the world.
  • 3 weeks since announcing my first live workshop series.
  • 2 days since the first session of that series.

Now, again… One Year.

All I want to do is hide.

This becoming more visible thing is really hard. This doing what I feel so deeply called to do is so excruciatingly uncomfortable at times and has asked me to grow in ways I never would have guessed even just one year ago.

Perhaps that’s why I don’t want to celebrate.

Because celebrating also signals reflecting.

There is so much good in this past year. There is so much hard as well.

Standing here, now, looking back over the past year, it is so obvious that great shifts have happened.

Two years ago it would have been absolutely inconceivable that I would be standing in front of people, teaching. Even one year ago, the thought would have been completely overwhelming, paralyzing, and unbelievable to me.

And yet, now, here I am.

It’s not that I didn’t have the skills to, for example, teach a class one year ago. My skills haven’t changed. They are the same I’ve been gathering and refining over the past 15 (15!) years.

Committing to the business side of my work has changed *me*.

In order to reach the people I’m now reaching in the ways I’m now reaching them, I’ve had to become the person who can teach, who can write regularly, who can share more of herself than she has ever felt comfortable sharing in the past.

These changes haven’t been easy.

Now…

…a few minutes after beginning this post, I’m realizing that maybe I don’t want to hide as much as I thought.

Maybe I do want to come out of the darkness and, if not celebrate, at least acknowledge this past year.

I’m guessing this next one will be filled with just as many agonies and delights.

And somehow, just now, that feels perfectly right.

Comment Magic:

If you’d like to acknowledge One Year with me, that’d be lovely. If not, that’s fine too. Obviously, this whole celebrating/acknowledging thing is a bit iffy for me. As always, just saying Hi is also appreciated.

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Comments

  1. Congratulations on your anniversary. But more importantly, congratulations on deciding to put yourself out there in a new way and sticking to it, to pursuing your vision in the face of anxiety and adversity. It’s much more challenging to create something from nothing than to follow a well worn path. Congratulations on that.

    Reply

  4. Congratulations on all that you’ve done in the last year. I really want to acknowledge how you’ve been showing up and doing the work. There are so many people who need what you offer, Larisa. Love, Judy

    Reply

  5. I want to say as someone who’s attended a class taught by you, you have a special skill and talent for teaching. I think partly because you are somewhat shy, you lead in a way that allows your students to contemplate their own process without feeling rushed or caught in someone else’s agenda. You hold space for your clients to explore all that is there for them, offering permission with your presence, having the wisdom to know that nothing more is needed.

    Thank you for letting your light shine, it’s quite beautiful. Also, congratulations on writing such an honest and bold letter about your experience of this milestone in your business. Magical.

    Reply

  7. You are sooo beautiful and we are so very happy you are here!
    Yayyyy.

    One whole year of bravery on your own terms, but huge bravery nevertheless, transparency yes that too, heart, integrity, growth, wisdom.

    Party onnnn dudessss!

    Congratulations indeed.

    Reply

  8. Why does it always feel like you’re writing just for me?

    Even though this post was all about this tremendous, impressive, enviable milestone in *your* business, I thought you should know that it spoke deeply to what’s on my mind this morning.

    Your willingness to share your insights and un-hide yourself does so much for the world. Thank you for sharing this and all your other many gifts with us.

    I want to write a million more gushy things but I’ll keep it at that. Okay, that and one more little “you’re wonderful.”

    Reply

  9. Thank you for you perserverence, your insight, and your unflagging wonder in this journey. It’s hard to read your newsletters sometimes because they often bring my awareness to things I’ve been running from without even realizing it. So darn you! And blessings, you deserve a big picnic under the St. John’s bridge 🙂 Congrats!

    Reply

  10. Larisa, I only just discovered you recently, but I love what you’re doing. I’m so with you on the whole “I’m not very good at seeing what I’ve accomplished” thing…so I can empathize with what it took to write this post. Brava!

    Your willingness to not hide and to share your unvarnished truth like this is really admirable. People like you teach not just by giving courses and seminars, but by your own example. Even though we’ve never met, I’m proud of you and everything you (yes!) *have* accomplished. 🙂

    Reply

  12. @Sarah
    Wow. I’ve never considered that perhaps my shyness and tendency to hide could be an asset. Thanks for sharing your perspective. Very helpful.

    @jamie
    Hi! Just want to say your comment *looks* really cool. Thank you for the acknowledgment. Much appreciated.

    @Leila
    Party on indeed! Yay!

    Reply

  14. I love the idea of celebrating, hence my sporadic Monday series, but it occurs to me that I don’t know how to celebrate me. So I think it’s wonderful that you found a way to acknowledge and celebrate the hard and the good of the past year – and to share that with all of us. Congratulations!

    Reply

  15. Congratulations! I am just quietly following your work and sharing from waaaaaaayy over and down here in Florida 🙂 Hope to get to Portland again sometime.

    Reply

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